My Mom is a working mom.
True, she was at home all the time, but the old cliche “a man’s job is from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done” rang true on her. Of course, Dad was a workaholic so sun to sun didn’t apply to him.
Mom handled the bookwork for Dad’s business. She was a tough boss. He was allowed 2 checks and she would not give him another until he could produce a receipt for each one. Apparently, even though I was adopted, I did inherit my Dad’s checkbook skills (or lack thereof).
When I was five, we moved into a huge, older house with an upstairs and a basement. Mom set up an office in the corner of the living room and from there ran the house. I do mean ran. She ran up stairs and down stairs. She kept up with the laundry, the pets, the housework, the bills, the bookwork, and the everything else in between.
I remember when a friend told me in front of both parents that I was so lucky my Mom didn’t work, it was my Dad who corrected her. Mom just smiled. In her shoes, I would have laughed hysterically while crying, but that’s just me.
Any woman who had kids is a working Mom. It’s even more complicated if that working Mom spends 8-10 hours in an office. Some mothers learn the art of juggling jobs, some delegate the work, others just try to cope one day at a time. Regardless of employment outside the home, all Moms have a tough time.
Let’s face it, every Mom out there is overworked, under-appreciated and very underpaid. You normally don’t get any thanks until your kids are grown and setting up their own housekeeping and realize how tough you have it.
There is a dedication mixed with fear that spurs Moms on. Dedication because you love your families and never run off with the first meter reader to knock on the door. Fear because Moms are constantly judged. Stay at Home Moms (SAHMs) feel they are looked down on because “that’s all you do”. They hear the Oprah jokes and are asked about soap operas. Moms who hold outside jobs (MWHOJs) feel they are looked down on because they have chose ‘a career over your children’. A career… does that mean paying rent, buying groceries and keeping the electric on is more important than your children?
Now there are so many Single Moms. Why do you never hear of Single Dads? Besides falling into one of the above mentioned catagories (usually MWHOJs), they also fear that they must be both parents to their children.
My Mom is now 76. She’ll be upset that I printed her real age. She is still a SAHM and a MWHOJs. October 28, 1998, my brother was hit while bicycling back from California. He is mostly paralyzed. I say mostly, because as a quadreplegic, he does have some limited movement. He’s now able to feed himself. Mom is his Primary Caregiver as his Physical Therapist refers to her in notes. That means bathing him, assisting him with a urinal, taking care of him and all of his needs in addition to running the household. Her days are still not from sun to sun. But she handles each day as it comes, rarely complains and sleeps in odd moments. She may not be your typical Mom, but then, no Mom is typical.
If you are a husband reading this: Hug your wife, count your blessings and do the dishes. If you are a child or even adult child: Pitch in more, don’t make her nag you for help, and tell her how much you appreciate her. Whether she’s at home all the time or at her “other” job, she’s special and deserves to be told–frequently.
